Movie Review: "Ice Age: Continental Drift" / Rated PG / 20th Century Fox / Dir. by Steve Martino and Mike Thurmeier / 94 min.

Is there any enduring franchise in motion picture history more inexplicably successful than the "Ice Age" films?  I'm not saying they're bad, I'm just saying that they're consistently, almost aggressively average.  Every plot, every character arc, almost every joke has been farmed out from other more creative movies.  You know what they remind me of?  Back in the 70's and 80's, Warner Bros. tried to find a way to re-market the old Looney Tunes shorts by making "new" Bugs Bunny movies, which were actually just the classic old shorts connected by new, more poorly animated filler material.  Films like "The Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie" and "1001 Rabbit Tales" rigged up a serviceable plot that could somehow explain how all of these independently created shorts could work in a cohesive story.  In watching these movies, the viewer wades through the new stuff to get to the meat, which is the old Looney Tunes shorts.

In the case of the "Ice Age" movies, the good stuff usually involves Scrat, the pine cone obsessed rodent whose dogged pursuit of his desire leaves the world crumbling in his wake.  The filler material (which makes up the bulk of the movies) involves the unusual herd created in the first film: Manny, the grumpy, yet lovable mammoth (Ray Romano, basically playing himself), Diego, the grumpy, yet lovable sabertooth tiger (Denis Leary, also basically playing himself), and Sid, the stupid, yet lovable sloth (John Leguizamo, hopefully not playing himself).  These three have the same character arc in each movie.  The two grumps learn to be softer and more understanding and the dopey one saves the day with his fearless loyalty, gaining the begrudging respect of the other two.  It's been the same basic outline for each and every one of the movies.  Granted, they've added more characters to try and disguise the stale plots.  Manny has gained a wife (Queen Latifah) and a daughter (Keke Palmer), as well as a couple of possum brothers-in-law (Seann William Scott and Josh Peck), which have given him the opportunity to demonstrate paternal grumpiness through all the stages of family, from worrying about his pregnant wife to battling with his belligerent teenage daughter, but the movies never deal with these issues on a level higher than a "Full House"-style sitcom.

This time, the hilarious Scrat accidentally falls to the center of the Earth and chases a pinecone around on the Earth's core, which leads to the destruction of the central land mass and the creation of the continents (the scientific logic is infallible, no?)  As a result, the central three characters get separated from the rest of their herd and must find their way back, but not before encountering a group of prehistoric pirates, led by the villainous Captain Gutt (voiced extremely well by Peter Dinklage).  This gives us an antagonist (I mean one other than the shifting land masses) and also gives the ever crotchety Diego a love interest in the form of a sabertooth pirate named Shirah (Jennifer Lopez).  Will everyone end up safe and in love?  Of course.  Will they learn that family is important?  Yep.  Will they learn that it's always best to be yourself? (the most overplayed moral in all of modern family entertainment)  Most indubitably.

As I said before, the plot for the "Ice Age" films feel secondary.  The morals, the heart, the action....it all feels merely like a Scrat delivery system.  These are the sequences when the movies come to life.  Unfortunately, if you've seen the previews for this movie, you've seen almost 3/4ths of the Scrat segments.  Seriously.  The first teaser trailer for "Continental Drift" was all of the first three Scrat segments stitched together, which gives the movie an even more "been there, seen that" feel.

Granted, not everything in the movie feels entirely played out.  The animation is beautiful.  I recently saw the first "Ice Age" and the improvement in animation quality from film to film has been truly impressive.  There are a few laugh-out-loud and honestly creative segments, including a bit involving prehistoric sirens and some of the personality quirks of the band of pirates.  Also, the musical score by the always fantastic John Powell, is exciting and involving.

Yes, these aren't bad movies.  They're merely adequate.  So the real question is, how did we get to the point that 20th Century Fox felt it necessary to make four of them?  The answer, my friends, is found in three simple words:  Foreign....box....office.  You see, while each of the "Ice Age" movies have made roughly the same amount in the U.S.(between $176 and $196 million), they've grown in box-office in the world market in staggering amounts.  In fact, here's a little of nugget of info to let sink in:  "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" (a.k.a. Ice Age 3) is the highest grossing animated film of ALL TIME overseas.  It's a fact.  Bigger than "Shrek", bigger than "Toy Story", bigger than "The Lion King".  So, as long as the foreign market goes insane for the franchise, they'll keep cranking out harmless, yet uninspired movies.

Oh, by the way, the best thing about the movie happens before the opening credits.  There's a new "Simpsons" short film entitled "The Longest Daycare" that appears before "Ice Age".  It's quite funny, with a lot of jokes that only adults will get (especially because they are written and they zip past the audience quickly), but the thing that surprised me about it was the poignancy in which it ended.  The last few moments had the warmth of some of the Pixar shorts, which was the last thing I was expecting from Groening and Co. It was really quite delightful.

So, the final word is this.  If you've seen an "Ice Age" movie, you know exactly what you're getting.  If you love or even like them, you'll probably feel the same about this one.  If you didn't care for them, but want something good and entertaining for the family, go see "Brave" or "Madagascar 3".  Both of these films are considerably better than "Continental Drift".  However, if you do decide to see the latest adventure of Manny and friends, be sure to get there in time to see Maggie Simpson in her charming (and, by the way, wordless) short.

Final grade: C